I Am Pleased to Report That Yakuza 0 Still Absolutely Rips

September 2, 2026 - 00:21

It has been nearly a decade since Yakuza 0 first hit consoles, and somehow, the prequel still manages to feel fresher than most modern crime dramas. I recently fired it up again on a whim, expecting a nostalgic trip with some dated mechanics. Instead, I got pulled back into Kamurocho for six straight hours, and I have zero regrets.

The game opens with Kazuma Kiryu, a young enforcer who gets framed for a murder he did not commit. Meanwhile, Goro Majima is running a cabaret club in Sotenbori, trying to buy his way back into the yakuza after being exiled. Their separate paths collide in ways that make the whole story feel like a tense, sprawling crime novel. But the real heart of the game is the bond between Kiryu and his childhood friend Akira Nishikiyama. Their relationship is the emotional anchor, and every scene between them carries weight. You know where it ends up in later games, and that knowledge makes every cheerful moment here feel like a gut punch waiting to happen.

The combat still holds up, too. Switching between four fighting styles for each character keeps things punchy, and the heat actions are as over-the-top as ever. But the side content is where the magic lives. Running the cabaret club as Majima is genuinely addictive, and Kiryu's real estate minigame turns you into a property tycoon who occasionally beats up thugs with a bicycle. The substories are absurd, heartfelt, and sometimes both at once. There is a quest about a dominatrix, another about a robot, and one about a man who wants to become a chicken. It is ridiculous, and it works.

If you have never played it, do yourself a favor. If you have, it is worth another trip. Kiryu and Nishiki will be oath brothers for life, right? ...Right?